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He Wears Panties → Common Questions (Public) → How do I know if I'm transgender or if I'm a crossdresser?
 

Topic: How do I know if I'm transgender or if I'm a crossdresser?

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admin
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How do I know if I'm transgender or if I'm a crossdresser?
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How do I know if I'm transgender or if I'm a crossdresser?



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j33tAy
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I think this comes down to the number of sides to myself that feel feminine. We are all compromised of different components that go into live: our self-image, our relationship to self, spirituality, friend level relationship to others, sexual relationship to others, careers and ambitions, family ambitions (wanting to be a parent, etc.), educational pursuits, extended family relations, etc.

I only want to express femininity in my self image (and only to a minor extent with my wife) and it's not really sexual. It's just cute and fun. I'm very firmly masculine in my other sides of my life so I'm certain I'm not trans and am just a dude that likes panties, skirts and painting my nails.

If anyone felt that they were feminine in all of these categories and didn't identify as being a man, they may want to dive deeper into those feelings with a therapist or other professional who can give quality advice.




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LindaPantyBoy
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Of course I enjoy the girly feeling that I get when 'dressed', however there's much more to it than just that wonderful feeling.

I view society as a bully. By that I mean the use of social standards/ norms to keep us guys 'in line', that is to say putting pressure on guys to conform to society's definition of masculinity as opposed to an individual's definition of same.

So what do I like to do to bullies? Stand up to them and thumb my nose at them by cross dressing. After all, standing up to a bully is as American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.



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Pretty Nylon Panties——the underwear that's fun-to-wear.  Pretty panties and sexy bra put me in my happy place and are made to be seen, not hidden, thus bringing much needed joy to a troubled world. 

 

 

 
NylonComfort
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I agree that one who thinks they are trans should definitely talk to a gender-knowledgable therapist to explore it.

One thing that definitely should have been a clue to me that I am transgender is the sheer amount of thought I gave to it all my life.  Most cisgender people don't question their gender to any great degree, it simply never occurs to them; alternately, transgender folk often think everyone questions it and don't think that's unusual.  If you find yourself thinking about it, daydreaming about it or feeling genuine envy for the other AGAB (assigned gender at birth) then it's something you should seriously consider.  (There are other signs for non-binary types and other gender identifications, but I'm talking about transfeminine- and transmasculine-types here.)

In my particular case, when I was three or four I told my mom I wanted to be a girl just like her when I grew up.  I was pretty gender non-confirming up to about age eight, but by then my parents, school and society beat it out of me (in literal and figurative senses).  I committed the dread mistake of confusing "want to be" with "want to be with" with women all the time when I got older; the type I was drawn to is actually who I would want to be, but oddly, the women I was attracted to were almost always a) very dominant personalities because I am a more demure one, and/or b) end up being queer themselves in the end.  I had my actual girl name decided at age fifteen or sixteen sitting in the library in high school while daydreaming about how I saw myself as a girl.  I could go on and on, but these are easy to see and relate to.

Of course, not every trans person has these, but I can definitely say the more you ruminate on your gender and role and feel uncomfortable in many aspects of the one handed to you... well, you ought to be seeking the help of a professional to untangle that web.

One thing:  most transfolk don't seem to change their attraction (although some do become more honest with themselves about being attracted to more things that felt taboo before).  Some do find their attractions change on hormones, of course, but for the most part it seems if you are attracted to a given set of attributes before transition, that remains the same afterwards.  Technically, that changes your sexuality (if you were heterosexual before transition, it kind of makes you a lesbian once you start to transition), but only in label.  You're still you under there, and I think a lot of people resist transitioning over things like that.



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Kelly Ross
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admin wrote:

How do I know if I'm transgender or if I'm a crossdresser?

 

The term transgender is very broad, and can manifest in many behaviors ranging from someone who simply enjoys cross dressing, to someone who truly feels they need SRS, and many other forms in between. It’s kina like saying you now have transportation…  did you obtain a skate board? A car? A spacecraft? What sort of transportation are you talking about?

 

The subject is as old as humanity, and was ignored by most of the medical community until the 1920’s when some actual research began. As technology and an understanding of basic physiology followed, there were at least two independent studies I’m aware of that came to the same conclusion. What they concluded was that transgenderism is a mis-match between physical and brain gender identity, and although rare, does happen naturally. (Personally, I don’t believe it’s all that rare when studied in degrees).

 

This was a result of being able to actually monitor the development of a fetus in the womb. The first thing medical science was able to identify was the brain stem (medulla oblongata), which makes sense as this is what regulates all of the bodies autonomic functions such as breathing, heart rate, nervous system, eyes blinking, etc. From there, the brain stem extends to develop the spine, and the brain. By the time the outline of the body is formed, and many weeks before the nubs which will become limbs are visible, the brain is almost fully formed, as is “brain sex”.

 

As it happens though, some people end up with their gender “brain sex” not being the same as their physical sex. Most of us have encountered these people growing up, even if we didn’t recognize what we were witnessing at the time. There might have been little Sally on your street? She wore jeans & t-shirts and wanted to play baseball with the boys. Last week she was building a ramp to ride her bike over. (girl body, boy brain). Then there was Dean…  he wore permanent press pants and a dress shirt, and took Home Economics in school. He wanted to pick flowers for his mom on the way home and then bake some cookies. (boy body, girl brain).

 

The biggest difference between these people is how society treated them. Sally was so cute… she could get away with anything. Dean on the other hand… we have to kill him! He’s sick and wrong…  he’s a damn sissy! Despite all the contrived TG indoctrination going on these days (which is a different subject), this basic stigma of how girls and boys should behave is still very prevalent in much of society. This is why TG males of any flavor are typically much more aware of how they might be treated if their true nature is revealed, and therefore less open than they might otherwise be.

 

I hope this begins to answer your question.



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LindaPantyBoy
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Kelly Ross wrote:

 

The biggest difference between these people is how society treated them. Sally was so cute… she could get away with anything. Dean on the other hand… we have to kill him! He’s sick and wrong…  he’s a damn sissy! Despite all the contrived TG indoctrination going on these days (which is a different subject), this basic stigma of how girls and boys should behave is still very prevalent in much of society. This is why TG males of any flavor are typically much more aware of how they might be treated if their true nature is revealed, and therefore less open than they might otherwise be.

 

 I enjoyed your entire post, thanks much for shedding light on this very important subject.  I'd like to add some of my own thoughts, thus 'fleshing out' your last paragraph.

From my bio (not my bio here on HWP, but rather my regular bio, which is still under construction and therefore off-line):

Double Standards, Prejudice and the Big Lie

 

(The elephant in the living room) 

 

    The elephant I’m talking about here is “The Big Lie”.  To the best of my knowledge, the lie has never been dealt with in any conversations I’m aware of.  So I guess it falls on me to get the ball rolling here.  The lie states that men are superior to women, thereby enabling the root prejudice that manhood is a higher form of life than womanhood.   Of course we all know that’s wrong, but sadly it still exists, even in so-called ‘mainstream’ society.  

 

    In conjunction with the lie, I want to talk about a couple of double standards in our society.  One standard works against women, whereas the other works against men.  Both standards are driven by the same prejudice which in turn is driven by 'The Big Lie'.  Ecidujerp is prejudice spelled backwards.  Any way you spell it, it is bad business.   Prejudice has a way of turning otherwise rational people into extremely irrational people.  Remember that.  

 

    Let’s look at this first situation in light of the big lie, keeping in mind that the lie drives the prejudice which in turn drives the double standard that works against women.  I can see where certain social dictums (standards) are critical of women but not of men, in one area of life.  Think about the double standards that are applied to men and women when they are trying to start sexual activity.  When a man seeks sexual activity, he is labeled as "red blooded" or “boys will be boys, after all that’s what they do”.  When a woman however wants or does the same, she is labeled by society as being slutty, trashy, cheap or worse labels that I wouldn’t even want to mention.  Double standards anyone?    Looking at this first set of double standards in the light of that false belief, one can easily see that women are being put in the gutter because of a misguided popular belief (prejudice) that they are a lower form of human life than men and as such they have no right to mimic the higher form of life, namely men.  

 

     I’m seeing where this same lie and root prejudice are driving a totally different set of double standards which work against men.  Those double standards can cause people of any gender to be critical or judgmental of men wearing lingerie or any other so-called ‘female’ clothing.  They may say things like:  "That's disgusting, take it off, it makes you look like a woman!  Are you a pervert or something?"  While at the same time, people are not critical or judgmental of women wearing so-called ‘male’ clothing, like pants as an example.  Double standards anyone?  The fact is, a certain percentage of men will wear so-called ‘female’ clothing, regardless of what social dictums say to the contrary.  After all, we’re not living in regimented Iran or North Korea.  Looking at this second situation in the light of that same false belief or prejudice, some will say that a man loses his dignity or manhood by wearing any so called ‘female’ clothing, thereby mimicking that lower form of life.        Such is the twisted logic that prejudice can produce, namely that a 

 

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higher form of human life and a lower one have (or don’t have) the right to mimic one another, when in reality there are no higher and lower forms of human life, only equal forms.  

 

    You may be tempted to think:  So what’s the problem?  Nobody’s playing favorites here, because men and women are being picked on equally.  After all, it all balances out, doesn’t it?  I have a polite expression for that line of defective reasoning: It’s called nonsense!  Like Mom used to say when we were kids:  “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. I’m not saying that the criticizers themselves are the culprits in these scenarios, far from it.  The real culprit is a society which has brain-washed the criticizers by using the big lie  which has then morphed into the root prejudice, and that prejudice in turn drives the double standards. These as well as other double standards not mentioned here, and also the prejudice which drives them, cannot be eliminated until the big lie which drives the whole thing is destroyed.   End quote, hope you got thru all that OK, definitely food for thought.  

 

 



__________________

Pretty Nylon Panties——the underwear that's fun-to-wear.  Pretty panties and sexy bra put me in my happy place and are made to be seen, not hidden, thus bringing much needed joy to a troubled world. 

 

 

 
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