Although the ultimate answer is to accept yourself for who you are, I can empathize with the struggle having been through the binge/purge cycle on a number of different activities. If you aren't ready to "look within yourself to save yourself from your other self" [1] then an interim solution is to find a difficult to access space that you can designate as your binge/purge space. The moment you feel you want to purge, put what you want to into your purge space. When you want to binge, raid your purge space. not only is this more cost effective, but it helps you to work through the trauma since you aren't throwing things away when you purge. It takes a lot of the weight off the whole process making it almost boring. Once that happens, You might find it easier to do that deep inner work that is incredibly important.

[1]: Yes. I am an ATLA nerd.

-- Edited by Getn67 on Tuesday 6th of February 2024 12:06:51 AM

Kerry wrote:

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You need to accept yourself as you are. You wearing panties is not a problem and is not something that needs to be fixed. We live in a society that has a double standard for what men can wear compared to what women can wear. Nobody cares when a female wears something from the Men's section and nobody should care if you wear something from the Women's section. The guilt and shame that comes from wearing panties is years of societal conditioning.

Be you. Be free. Accept yourself. If you're afraid that someone will judge you, that is their problem. They, too, have been conditioned to think that way.

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 Words of great wisdom Kerry. and let me add (from my bio, however not my bio which is posted on this site):

   I want to talk here about a couple of double standards in our society.  One standard works against women, whereas the other works against men.  Both standards are driven by the same prejudice which in turn is driven by the same big lie.  Ecidujerp is prejudice spelled backwards.  Any way you spell it, it is bad business.   Prejudice has a way of turning otherwise rational people into extremely irrational people.  Remember that.  The big lie that I’m talking about here states that men are superior to women, thereby enabling the root prejudice that manhood is a higher form of life than womanhood.   Of course we all know that’s wrong, but sadly it still exists, even in so-called ‘mainstream’ society.

    Let’s look at this first situation in light of the big lie, keeping in mind that the lie drives the prejudice which in turn drives the double standard that works against women.  I can see where certain social dictums (standards) are critical of women but not of men, in one area of life.  Think about the double standards that are applied to men and women when they are preoccupied with sex, or are flirting with or trying to start sexual activity with members of the opposite sex.  When a man seeks sexual activity, he is labeled as ‘red blooded’ or “boys will be boys, after all that’s what they do”.  When a woman however wants or does the same, she is labeled by society as being slutty, trashy, cheap or worse labels that I wouldn’t even want to mention.  Double standards anyone?    Looking at this first set of double standards in the light of that false belief, one can easily see that women are being put in the gutter because of a misguided popular belief (prejudice) that they are a lower form of human life than men and as such they have no right to mimic the higher form of life, namely men. 

    I’m seeing where this same lie and root prejudice is driving a totally different set of double standards which work against men.  Those double standards can cause people of either gender to be critical or judgmental of men wearing lingerie or any other so-called ‘female’ clothing.  They may say things like:  "That's disgusting, take it off, it makes you look like a woman!  Are you a pervert or something?"  While at the same time, people are not critical or judgmental of women wearing so-called ‘male’ clothing.  Double standards anyone?  The fact is, a certain percentage of men will wear so-called ‘female’ clothing, regardless of what social dictums say to the contrary.  After all, we’re living in the United States here, not somewhere in regimented Iran or North Korea.  Looking at this second situation in the light of that same false belief or prejudice, one can readily see that a man wearing any so called ‘female’ clothing is mimicking a lower form of life. 

    Such is the twisted logic that prejudice can produce, namely that a higher form of human life and a lower one have (or don’t have) the right to mimic one another, depending on the sentiment of the observer, when in reality there are no higher and lower forms of human human life, only equal forms.