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Topic: I find myself going through cycles of purging panties, then binging on buying more panties back. How can I stop?

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I find myself going through cycles of purging panties, then binging on buying more panties back. How can I stop?

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I find myself going through cycles of purging panties, then binging on buying more panties back. How can I stop this vicious cycle?



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Simplest answer is to stop purging. If you truly like wearing panties, nothing will stop you. Telling yourself that you wore panties for the last time and then throwing them away is not the answer. If you have gone through this cycle at least once, you will always regret purging.

You need to accept yourself as you are. You wearing panties is not a problem and is not something that needs to be fixed. We live in a society that has a double standard for what men can wear compared to what women can wear. Nobody cares when a female wears something from the Men's section and nobody should care if you wear something from the Women's section. The guilt and shame that comes from wearing panties is years of societal conditioning.

Be you. Be free. Accept yourself. If you're afraid that someone will judge you, that is their problem. They, too, have been conditioned to think that way.



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Although the ultimate answer is to accept yourself for who you are, I can empathize with the struggle having been through the binge/purge cycle on a number of different activities. If you aren't ready to "look within yourself to save yourself from your other self" [1] then an interim solution is to find a difficult to access space that you can designate as your binge/purge space. The moment you feel you want to purge, put what you want to into your purge space. When you want to binge, raid your purge space. not only is this more cost effective, but it helps you to work through the trauma since you aren't throwing things away when you purge. It takes a lot of the weight off the whole process making it almost boring. Once that happens, You might find it easier to do that deep inner work that is incredibly important.



[1]: Yes. I am an ATLA nerd.



-- Edited by Getn67 on Tuesday 6th of February 2024 12:06:51 AM



-- Edited by Getn67 on Tuesday 6th of February 2024 12:07:49 AM

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Panty Duchess
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I used to live in that buy/ purge cycle. I bought less expensive panties, so I felt I wasn't totally eating money. That cycle lasted many years across decades.
The longest I went without panties at all was maybe 6 months. I always ended up buying more, buying again. Sometimes, if be buying in less than a week after a purge.
The worst episode was throwing away 70 panties. As I started buying again, I realized that I was never going to find the same pretty colors and pretty prints that I liked.
So, after the last great purge (late 2016 por very early 2017), I told myself if I was going to accept the fact that I prefer wearing panties and move forward. I made my 1st purchase of VS panties in january 2017. On my way out the mall, I saw my first Soma boutique. And the items they had on display caught my eye.
I went to that Soma on February 17, 2017, and bought some panties. I've been a loyal Soma customer since then.
It's up to you what you do. If you've been in this cycle for a period of time. You've realized your desires aren't going away. It's likely they never will. If you can accept that you like (or love) wearing panties, then just love yourself and do it. Otherwise, the cycle will continue.

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Bras and panties - because they're pretty
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Kerry wrote:

You need to accept yourself as you are. You wearing panties is not a problem and is not something that needs to be fixed. We live in a society that has a double standard for what men can wear compared to what women can wear. Nobody cares when a female wears something from the Men's section and nobody should care if you wear something from the Women's section. The guilt and shame that comes from wearing panties is years of societal conditioning.

Be you. Be free. Accept yourself. If you're afraid that someone will judge you, that is their problem. They, too, have been conditioned to think that way.


 Words of great wisdom Kerry. and let me add (from my bio, however not my bio which is posted on this site):

   I want to talk here about a couple of double standards in our society.  One standard works against women, whereas the other works against men.  Both standards are driven by the same prejudice which in turn is driven by the same big lie.  Ecidujerp is prejudice spelled backwards.  Any way you spell it, it is bad business.   Prejudice has a way of turning otherwise rational people into extremely irrational people.  Remember that.  The big lie that I’m talking about here states that men are superior to women, thereby enabling the root prejudice that manhood is a higher form of life than womanhood.   Of course we all know that’s wrong, but sadly it still exists, even in so-called ‘mainstream’ society.

 

    Let’s look at this first situation in light of the big lie, keeping in mind that the lie drives the prejudice which in turn drives the double standard that works against women.  I can see where certain social dictums (standards) are critical of women but not of men, in one area of life.  Think about the double standards that are applied to men and women when they are preoccupied with sex, or are flirting with or trying to start sexual activity with members of the opposite sex.  When a man seeks sexual activity, he is labeled as ‘red blooded’ or “boys will be boys, after all that’s what they do”.  When a woman however wants or does the same, she is labeled by society as being slutty, trashy, cheap or worse labels that I wouldn’t even want to mention.  Double standards anyone?    Looking at this first set of double standards in the light of that false belief, one can easily see that women are being put in the gutter because of a misguided popular belief (prejudice) that they are a lower form of human life than men and as such they have no right to mimic the higher form of life, namely men. 

 

    I’m seeing where this same lie and root prejudice is driving a totally different set of double standards which work against men.  Those double standards can cause people of either gender to be critical or judgmental of men wearing lingerie or any other so-called ‘female’ clothing.  They may say things like:  "That's disgusting, take it off, it makes you look like a woman!  Are you a pervert or something?"  While at the same time, people are not critical or judgmental of women wearing so-called ‘male’ clothing.  Double standards anyone?  The fact is, a certain percentage of men will wear so-called ‘female’ clothing, regardless of what social dictums say to the contrary.  After all, we’re living in the United States here, not somewhere in regimented Iran or North Korea.  Looking at this second situation in the light of that same false belief or prejudice, one can readily see that a man wearing any so called ‘female’ clothing is mimicking a lower form of life. 

    Such is the twisted logic that prejudice can produce, namely that a higher form of human life and a lower one have (or don’t have) the right to mimic one another, depending on the sentiment of the observer, when in reality there are no higher and lower forms of human human life, only equal forms.                                                                 

 

                                                                  

 

 

 

 



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Here I am in my panties and bra.  So wonderful that something so everyday to a woman can bring so much joy to a man.

 

Panty Dame
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In 10 years I haven't felt the need to purge. I have gone through and removed pairs that didn't work out and either threw them out or boxed them for back up and put then in my closet. I think a big reason is that I have spent a good amount of money on them so I better stick with it.

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Wearing pretty panties since 10/2014.

No men's underwear in my possession since 12/30/2023.

Nightgowns are life.

Panty Duchess
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That was part of my reasoning in buying panties off better quality and a bit higher priced. I've doesn't to much money to just throw away panties "on a whim".
Plus I finally told my wife I wear panties full time. And while not supportive nor approving, she thanked me for doing my own laundry.

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Bras and panties - because they're pretty
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I found it helpful to ask myself why I was feeling guilty and purging. The answer (for me) was that I felt guilty because I was deceiving my wife, whom I love very deeply, and I was tired of the subterfuge and the sneaking around; it was literally the only secret I'd ever kept from her.

Having come to terms with the fact that I couldn't stop buying and wearing (the compulsion is too strong, you know that); and that purging was just wasting money (which also had implications for my wife, since that was joint money I was wasting), the answer was to stop deceiving her.

She already knew that I liked wearing panties; it was after she found out that I had my last purge. So it was just a matter of saying something like "Look, this is something that gives me pleasure, that I find calming and helpful, and I'm going to do it; please try to understand." But I do it in a way that impinges on her life as little as humanly possible: changing discreetly, doing the washing at some time when she's not around. I have no secrets any more: if she wants to know anything she can ask and I will tell her. My collection of panties is in a drawer which is open to inspection.

She doesn't like it: I know that. But she can cope with it, and we don't discuss it; and I'm not guilty about it any more.


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Panty Apprentice
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I have had the same guilty feelings over the years. My wife has known of my panty wearing for a long time, but I still felt that I had to sneak around. I no longer feel guilty, and I do keep my panties in my dresser now instead of hiding them in my truck or work shop. But she doesn't want to see me wearing them. It's been a couple of years since my last purge. I still throw some out, but only when they get worn-out. If I buy some and I end up not liking them, I'll give them to goodwill or something like that. I have gotten better at knowing what I will like.

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Panty wearer for life.

Panty Duchess
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Even though my wife knows, she would be very surprised to see how many I've accumulated over the 7 years.
I'm a bit amazed by that, too.

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Bras and panties - because they're pretty
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For me, my wife confronted me about my stash with true fear in her heart about what was going on. Is he gay? Stealing women's underwear? Is he such a player that all the women he's cheating with are handing these too him?

Not my proudest moment but she was wildly relieved that I just wanted to wear them. It was a much bigger deal for me than it was for her since she was much more concerned with me deceiving her than wearing satin panties. "Big deal!"

I have learned to talk to her about desires and whims so much that she has learned that when she wants to give me a hand job, she'll use the satiny material to make it more exciting for me.

My life after discussing it with her (however awkward at the beginning) is better for the marital exercise. She didn't blink an eye when I brought home leggings and even runs her fingers up and down my legs when snuggling.

I still feel odd, I still feel like I ask strange things of her but I'm not feeling guilty and have no issues with my panty fandom.


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Everything she wears is magic, everything she does just turns me on.

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